It may be your co-worker. It may be your irritating neighbor. It may be your boo. It may be your best friend. It may be a family member. It may even be YOU!
A “One-Upper”, a “Last Worder” or a “Bubble Buster”
Malisea, what is a “One-Upper”? Glad you asked!
A One-Upper is the person who when you’re telling a story about something you’re going through, something you’ve done, something someone else did to you, or something that happened to you, and they have something that always tops your story. Granted, the One-Upper person does not know that they are a One-Upper, because in their mind, they’re trying to “empathize” with your situation. Allow me to illustrate with a scenario:
Me: Girl, my boyfriend is getting on my nerves, do you know he came home late again last night, up at the pool hall drinking all night knowing he had to work in the morning, and had us both late for work.
One-Upper: girl, you lying, that is a shame. My Tyrone had me at his mama’s house to pick him up, then turned around and asked me to come inside and help change his old granddaddy’s shitty diaper, then told me he had to use my car to go to the store to get some more Depends. Had me in there with his two screaming nephews, was gone with my car for 3 hours, shit still on his granddaddy, his mama fussing me out about how I can’t take of her boy like a real woman. And do you know when Tyrone came back, he had bags from Foot Locker and didn’t have any Depends to change his granddaddy’s diaper and my car was on E.
Me: Damn, well uh, yeah.
The one upper just made you feel good about your situation. Although you should be rightfully, mad that your man had you late for work because of his drinking, but the one upper always has something to make you feel like “well damn”!!!
Another Example
Me: Girl, I cannot wait to go to Atlantic City next weekend, so much fun!
One Upper: Girl who you telling, I’m going to Vegas next weekend, we got the penthouse suite at Caesar’s, the same one from the Hangover, we got ring side seats to the Mayweather fight, and VIP to Jaime Foxx’s after party girl. Where you staying in AC when you go?
Me: The holiday inn, but it’s the presidential suite tho and we got all you can eat at the buffet! (yes I know, all buffet’s are all you can eat, I had to make it sound fly I just been one upped)
Malisea, What is a Last Worder? I’m glad you asked!
It’s pretty self explanatory, but the Last worder is the person who ALWAYS has to have the last word.
Now don’t get me wrong, I love a good debate or argument, but from time to time, even as a black woman, I know when to just shut the hell up. Nevertheless, some people just can’t drop it. And the WORST person is the one who has to have the last word via text or email conversation, because then it goes on and on if you don’t stop it.
Me: Fine
Last Worder: Okay
Me: aiight then.
Last Worder: psssshhhhh
Me: Whatever
Last Worder: See, that’s what I’m talking about!
Me: What?
Last Worder: Never mind (never say never mind to a woman, this will certainly never end, but it was the Last Worder’s ploy to keep going)
Me: No, say what you were gonna say?
Last Worder: Nah, man it’s cool
Me: okay fine.
Last Worder: See there you go!
Me: WHHHAAAATTTT??
You see the pattern…it never ends with the Last Worder, and yes, I will admit I am a last worder! I mean I ain’t not David Ruffin last worder, but certainly get my last word on.
Malisea, what’s a Bubble Buster? Well, my friend, I’m glad you asked.
A Bubble buster is that person who calls themselves being honest, or enlightening you about something you’re super excited about, but they’re not too thrilled or lack interest in the subject.
Me: OMG, I so can’t wait to go to Vegas now, you talked so good about Caesar’s Palace and all the shows, and I’m sure it’s better than AC
Bubble Buster: Vegas was aiight, I mean it’s overrated, too crowded, smoky, music was loud, drinks too strong, beds too soft. It’s just Vegas, it’s not like it’s Dubai where I’m going next week by private jet with Drake and Rick Ross.
Me: oh, too strong of drinks huh? That sounds like a good problem to have.
Bubble Buster: I mean if you like strong drinks and all, but really, I like to taste my juice and not the alcohol.
See, the bubble is all busted, what is wrong with strong drinks? Furthermore, really you have to downplay my Vegas experience although now you’re going to Dubai?
In essence, all three people are deep down haters.
One Upper, has to hate on your situation and can’t just listen and empathize, but they do make you feel better about your situation if it is bad. The one Upper is also the bubble buster at times.
The Last worder, just hating, shut up for once and let silence do its job (I’m talking to myself to, because sometime I need to zip it)
And the bubble buster, just because I’ve never ate at Ruth’s Chris, you don’t have be like, oh, yeah it’s like going to Outback steakhouse—blooming onion and shit, nothing fancy! Stop it, let me form my own opinion please without you busting my excitement and glee.
Coming to you live and direct from the temple of Malisea Queen where she is having the last word with somebody right now!
LMAO!
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