I'm talking about the type of love where you can't sleep at night without your baby! Put your credit on the line type of love. (It's why black folks have bad credit now....love!) "Girl, he needed new rims for his car, so you know I went down to the bank and got an extra line of credit." For rims? Yes, girl rims! They be spinning!!!
Love and Respect is what propelled generations of great, wait no....INCREDIBLE music. Have you ever sat back and really listened to the words of songs like "Footsteps in the Dark" By the Isley Brothers? He is telling that woman, although we've broken up....we still can be together. Why go else where, when there is love lost to be found? WHAT? That is that good ol' work it out music. Or even, Al Green "Let's Stay Together" Whether times are good or bad, happy or sad!!! This brotha is willing to get hot grits thrown on him in the name of love.
Let's face it, the music of this millennial generation flat out SUCKS MONKEY BALLS! Sure, we may come across some albums that you can listen to allllll the way through and say "damn, that was a solid ass album" However, that is far and few in between now days, and certainly the entire album is not focused on love. Well, I should say.....this generation equates Sex with Love....so if you hear "Neighbors know my name" This young crowd THINKS it's a love song....but it's NOT a love song, it's not even a "making love" song. It's a booty call, sex song!
Prince's "Adore" is a love song
Usher "That's What it's made for" is a sex song
Robin Thicke "Lost without you" is a love song
R. Kelly's "Bump and Grind" is a sex song
Starting with the 90's when women started making the same, if not more, money than their male counterparts, it changed a lot of dynamics not only in the home, but in society as a whole. So it went from the wife at home depending on the husband to provide for the family and bring home a steady paycheck. Then of course is the absentee father and that is a whole different blog....but the point is, women started to now bring home their own money. Hell, ain't nothing going on but the rent (sing it ladies) YOU GOTTA HAVE A J.O.B IF YOU WANNA BE WITH ME!!!! NO ROMANCE WITHOUT FINANCE! Oh lawd.....that's when it started.....out the door goes simple love and respect and in comes sex and money. Got females across the globe loving Destiny's Child "Independent" or Jamie Foxx and Ne-Yo "I love her because she's got her own"
Ladies, how many of you would really date a man that you knew worked at your local fast food restaurant? You make over $50,000 a year, but your boo may make $24,000 a year. Will you really date him? How about if you man did not have a job....oh if he "hustled" hmmm? But long as he is bringing home some type of money. There are a lot of men that will "dumb"down and could fall in love with the attitudal chick behind the counter at McDonald's. Yet, sista's, nah, we're looking down at a man's fingernails, shoes and seeing if his teeth are straight, thinking "humph, he is dirty, must not have a car because his shoes are busted up and clearly no dental plan with that grill in his mouth."
However, if a woman felt that some how she is getting good enough sex, then she may feel like he is good for something. So, more and more, sex and money is taking over love and respect.
At any rate, tolerance, forgiveness, understanding, communication and compassion have ALL went out the door. Men look at women today as sex objects like what is emulated in videos, songs, clubs, porn sites....and women look at men today as ATM machines, ballers, "what can he do for me", etc. I would go into how technology has been the LEADING cause in relationship failures amongst blacks in the last two decades, but that is another blog. Point is, our perceptions of love and respect is skewed by now, sex and money. Is he/she sexing you right and does he/she have money up to your standard?
I can pay my own rent, sure, but I want someone to love and respect me. I will be honest, I have NEVER dated a man based on what he can do for me financially, and I am baffled by some women who do date men based on that. Yes, I have been the one to date a broke brotha all in the sake of love....call me a fool, call me gullible, but I still do believe in pure love. Now, I'm not scoping out men at McDonald's or local gas stations, but certainly have dated me who were "in between jobs" or were trying to find their "entrepreneurial niche" I won't say it was easy, but I will say, those men certainly loved AND respected me during our times together.
I say all of this to say, is that many of us (who are single) have to look at more than just sex/money and get back to the foundation of love and respect. No, love and respect will not pay the bills, but it will certainly keep you warm, if some how you forgot to pay the electric bill, but your Escalade is sittin on 22's!!!
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