Job Chronicles: Falling OUT of the Gap

I know, I know, it’s been awhile, but I didn’t forget about ya’ll.  Heck, my two faithful fans keep me on my toes!

So, as part of the gospel of The Gap, you must  “fall into” The Gap, and boy was I ever falling into the Gap.  I started out in Gap Body, and that was cool and all, but the ACTION was next door in the actual Gap.  It was constantly busy, and the men coming in there for jeans, khakis, shirts, etc was on overflow.  I asked my manager if I could transfer over to the main store side, and she denied me at first, but after a month, she said there was a slot to be the denim specialist.  Meaning that I had to make sure that the huge denim wall that you see when you walk into the Gap, had to look up to par AT ALL TIMES.  I was way over my head, but hey, I took the challenge. 

So, I’m now the “denim specialist” and let me tell you now, if I didn’t hate females before, I REALLY HATE THEM now that I am working as the denim specialist.   Let me list the reason I hate females.  Yes, I know I’m a female, but you’ll understand why everyday at work at The Gap, I was cussing under my breath, “these stupid ass bitches and these jeans get on my GOT DAMN NERVES!”  

1.     Females know what size they wear…. YET they take 6 pairs of jeans in all different sizes into the dressing room to try on.  Granted, there are different styles and fits, I understand that.  But if you know you wear a size 10, you don’t need to take a size 8, 6, 10 and 12 into the dressing room, only for all of the jeans to confirm, your ass is really a 10.  You already knew that…but I know wishful thinking, right.  You settled with the 10 because really the size 12 fit your ass comfortably, but your ego wouldn’t let you say, “damn, my ass is big, I wear a 12?!?!”   

2.     Next, if you’re 5’6 and under STOP BUYING THE LONG JEANS!  Your ass is NOT tall!  Sure, in your heels you may be 5’8 at best, but seriously, you don’t need to buy the long length jeans.  Industry standard is that on average, most women are 5’7, therefore clothing companies cater to "the average height woman" making MOST jeans in lengths that are Regular, short and long.  Therefore, the long jeans are for someone like….hhhmmm, I don’t….MEEEEE who is 5’11!!!   Ohhh but no, those jeans are usually gone by someone who is 5’6 with dreams and aspirations to be long legged like me!  Not gonna happen boo, so go ahead and buy those Regular sized 10’s that you KNOW you’re suppose to wear!  

3.     Out of common courtesy, when you take clothes in the dressing room BRING THEM BACK OUT DAMMIT!  Those people in there aren’t there to clean up after you.  Dressing room attendants are there to hang and sort the clothes you don’t want for the runners to take back.  The runners are the folks who take the clothes out of the dressing rooms and put them back on the floor.  Dressing room attendants are there to help you find the right fit, so when your ass is dancing around in the dressing room trying to squeeze into the size 8, she comes and says “are you okay, do you need a different size” at which point you surrender and say “yes, bring me a 10 please.”  That is what the dressing room attendant is for.  Not for you to leave all 6 pairs of jeans in the dressing room on the floor all inside out for someone else to come behind you and pick up. 

 No, I didn't have a smile like this running clothes out the dressing rooms

So that my friends is why I hate females!   Therefore, as the denim specialist, I had to FOLD all of those jeans…and not just fold, I had to LEARN The Gap way to fold them, and trust there is a technique in folding Gap denim and khakis.  My days of denim specialist were far and few, before I was placed on the cash register, and that is where my talents were best suited! 

I got through the holiday rush, and yes, call me crazy, but years of working in retail, I like working on Black Friday, it makes the day go by so fast AND I got paid extra.

Until one day it snowed like crazy.  Now, in Eastern Washington, when it snows, IT SNOWS!  And we were getting slammed.  At the time, I had an on campus apartment and for me to drive from campus to downtown Spokane to work a 4-hour shift at the Gap in inclement weather was a no go.  

yes, this is actually Spokane!  See, that's  Riverfront Park and the clock tower
Wave hi to Spokane kiddies!

So, I called in and said

“Hi, I won’t be in today because of the weather.” 

Well Gap’s policy was that if we weren’t going to be in, we had to call someone on our staff sheet to cover our shift or we were considered a no show.  So, of course I tried to call and like me, the people were off damn sure wasn’t going in to work in crazy weather.  Hell, it was their day off.  So I called my assistant manager back and said,

“Well, I tried calling folks, and like me, they’re not risking it.  Therefore, I’m not coming into work.” 

This heffa (we didn’t like each other in the first place) said,

“Lisa, if you don’t show up, you’ll be considered a no show and that is automatic elimination of your position, you understand that, right?” 

As if I was 12 years old.   Me, being the smart ass that I am said,

“Uh, do you see the snow outside?  I’m not driving 30 minutes from Cheney to Downtown to work only 4 hours and who knows what the weather will look like at 10pm to drive back 30 minutes at night.  So, yes I understand, do what you have to do, but my life is worth more than the pay check I’m getting at The Gap.”  

 not exaggerating at all! 

“Lisa, you may want to consider what you’re saying, if you feel uncomfortable driving, you can always take the bus.”

“Sorry, I know what I’m saying and I’m saying I’m not standing out in 20 degree weather, nor am I driving in blizzard type weather to work only 4 hours, and if you’re willing to fire me over it, then I guess that is what has to happen.  I have another job, I’m not stressing the Gap.”

“Lisa, I know that you like working here, but it really disappoints me that you’re taking such a strong stance against this.”

“I’m not going to argue with you, before I say something I might regret, so fine, I’ll be in next week to pick up my last check.”

“you’ll regret it if you don’t show up today for work”

“You must not know me very well, and you must not know, that I don’t give a fuck!”

CLICK! 

Color me purple, I was madder than Cellie fixin to cut Mister! 

  Don't do it, Miss Cellie, he ain't worth it, he ain't worth it!

I wasn’t mad that I was potentially being fired, I was mad that she thought my life revolved around The Gap, and that I actually needed The Gap to live.  Little did she know who she was dealing with, because as fast as I “fell into” The Gap, I could leap my black ass right out!   That was the benefit of having another job; I didn’t have to worry about being fired from a job.   LESSON!

That next week when I went in for my check, the store manager and I talked and she said she hated to put termination on my paperwork because of the reason and that for what it was worth I really was a great and devoted worker.   I told her thank you for the words, but that she also should talk to her assistant manager and teach her how to diplomatically talk to staff!  And that The Gap needs to change its policy of staff that cannot make it in to work has to call another staff member or be terminated.   

It was my first time ever being terminated, and I feel it should be like a relationship, that it was a mutual understanding and BOTH parties agreed to go their separate ways.  I knew what I was walking into with this termination, but oh well.   

I still had the radio station, and I was kicking butt at it!  Now, I was prime time, and had the opportunity to do the radio telethon where I interviewed local jazz musicians, and learn about the history of Spokane and jazz.  Very interesting.  I was embarking on my spring semester in which meant I was up for work-study, EWU front desk of the Admissions Office.