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Pink Cookies in a Plastic Bag, getting crushed by buildings

Am I too cynical to actually be happy?

Who defines happiness? 

I can sit with a blank expression on my face, and a random person will come up and say, “Smile”.  WTF, are you the smile police?  Maybe I am in deep thought and you broke my concentration.  Should I smile to make you feel better? 

I was an extremely happy child, and from time to time, those who are lucky enough will experience the “happy-go-lucky” Lisa.  However, for the most part, you get the chilled, reserved, funny and at times blasé Lisa.   I have a multi dimensional personality, not to be confused with multiple personality disorder.  Or is it?

Anyways, it doesn’t mean I am unhappy or happy.  I’m just chillin. 

Nevertheless, the cynical part of me and is overwhelming based on experiencing life.   You know my story: the product of a teenage mother, separated parents, drug addicted parents, crime, loves lost, friendships torn, and expired jobs, blah blah.   I have seen and heard it all…. or so I think.

I like to think that I am optimistic about things, but then my cynical side kicks in and is like, “don’t get excited about shit Lisa, happiness isn’t really real.”  Happiness is like Santa Claus.  Love is like the Easter Bunny.  Both are elementary fairy tales existing only to make consumers and kids content.  

Well we know that it is not true, love and happiness exists, and clearly, a man that got hot grits thrown on him can still sing about it.  

I've experienced both love and happiness, but just like Christmas and Easter, they both come and go.  Props to the people who have love and happiness year round, could you put it in a bottle and send it to me.  Oh wait, I already have it, it's called Crown Royal. 

However, my cynical side seems to accept that sometimes, Happiness is for the chosen few, and love is for the blind, in my mind.  Skip that “happiness is a state of mind” mess.  Whose state of mind?  Soon as I get to happy, life shows up.  I’m not saying I’m sad or depressed, I’m just saying I’m just chillin…. waiting for happiness to enter into my state of mind instead of me forcing it to make the others…happy. I'll smile when a smile is permitted, not because you want me to or asked me to. Dammit!  (smile)

These random thoughts of the day were brought to you by the letter “C” for cynical.  

Yo, what's up with the title of this blog, Lisa?  Hell, what was up with the title of the song in the first place?

Coming to you live and direct from the temple of Malisea Queen where she is content with being totally random today.

Comments

  1. BaynardenterprisesAugust 25, 2011 at 3:08 AM

    I really Love this blog!!! save this true reality for your book!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Malisea QAugust 25, 2011 at 2:19 PM

    Awww, Shazzle, thank you love! I'll continue to keep it real, you know I will!

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousNovember 3, 2011 at 5:36 PM

    I am supposed to be cleaning but enjoyibg reading your blog. Can't wait for the book.

    ReplyDelete

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