A Few Good Men

As I rapidly approach 40 at the speed of light, I can tell you; I’ve seen a lot of men come and go.  I’ve had my share of phenomenal men and certainly my share of rat bastards.  I’ve watched as my friends and sorors marry their souls mates, I’ve watched and lend support to my friends whose hearts have been shattered by failed relationship and failed marriages.  I’ve listened to the sorrows of my single friends wondering where's their Boaz and I’ve even cried countless nights over the messed up things I’ve done to a few good men of my past.  

With that, I'm not saying I'm a relationship expert, I'm just saying I've seen relationships come and go, even my own.  I'm in this "meantime" phase where I'm going through excruciating growing pains.  I'm too old for some damn growing pains.  Nevertheless, I'm never too old to learn.  

Today, I learned that lesson, from a 28 year old. 

First of all, I think I'm too cute for words, so when I met my co-worker a few months ago, I set in my mind that he’d be my “work husband”.  He’s handsome, extremely nice, but young.    He works two full time jobs and is serious about his grind.  He is respectable, courteous and far from lazy—he’s very admirable.   

I don’t see him often because of different work schedules, but when I do see him, it’s always a joy because he’s always so nice, always has a compliment for me, and ya’ll know I eat compliments like a fat kid eats cake.

Today’s conversation was so enlightening; he and I was shooting the breeze about cars, dope addicts, bus routes, you know, shit you talk about with Baltimoreans. 

Anyways, in our conversation, he says, "yeah, when me and my girl get an apartment..." 
Wait, "girl"?
Certainly, my heart deflated because my, "work husband" has a girl!!!!
I'm human, I was a bit jealous at first, but watch how the story goes.

So, we continue to talk and he explained, "I love my girl, I can't wait to marry her!".  
I was so surprised, because aside from my overly emotional frat brother, I rarely hear men talk about how much they love their girls.  He went on and on about this chick.  Not in a sickening way, but about how he loves the fact that she motivates him, he feels that they're a miniature power couple in the aspect that they both work two jobs and talk about future investments and how they want to grow together.   

 Okay, when I think "power couple" The Obama's are that to me, but I'm sure some of ya'll think good ol' Jay & Bey....okay, okay....

So, anyways, I stopped him and said, "wait, how old are you?" 
he replied, "28"

I won't lie, I hesitated for a second, thinking to myself, "he can't be real"  Because lets face it, for him to be speaking like this, I had to confirm his age wasn't mid 30's.  Yep, late 20's and focused!

1. he is handsome as all hell with his chocolaty skin and super defined body with his bowlegged self, cute as he wanna be. 
2. So courteous and genuine.  Not hood, not ignorant, not all that street talking mess these young dudes out are here doing. He's very modest, humble and confident...not conceited.
3. very smart and not the smart like "oh, I'm a Political Science major from Hampton and I know it all" type, but the type of smarts that he listened to the advice of older people, he has worked hard and learned along the way....life lessons type of intelligence. 
4. Handy. This man cooks, cleans, fixes cars, talking about fuel pumps and converters and what he gonna do his car, etc.  Talking about how he makes crab cakes, salmon salads.  Clean while he cooks so there won't be a mess.  

His momma raised him right, where is his mom so I can give her a hug.

So, this man at 28 years old has me off the Michael Jackson like: "ohhhhh where did you come from baby, and ooh won't you take me there right away, won't  you baby!!!"   

As we continued to talk, I was more and more impressed.  Naturally, I was thinking, "Dammit, why can I not find a man like him?"  I always get the faulty versions.  
 Faulty like:
Can cook, but can't clean. 
Can cook and clean, but can't fix shit. 
Can fix shit, but can't hold an adult conversation. 
Can hold a conversation, but don't know how to romance me.
Can cook, clean, fix shit, hold a conversation, romantic...BUT CAN'T STAY LOYAL 

I know, I can't have everything in one man, and I'm sure this young man has a fault, flaw and a glitch in his matrix, but I want to believe he 's perfect, at least for the sake of this blog.  He was far from boastful of the things he does, it all just flowed in conversation and I'm doing ya'll a favor by giving you a brief overlay of the conversation to illustrate the amazing attributes of this young man. 

The one thing I did notice about myself, and how I felt as I'm still in total awe of this man, I was PROUD!!!!  Proud of this strong black man who, even to me, defied any stereotypes, and showed that he is an example that despite his life circumstances, he was going to be the best man for his mother and for his future wife and dammit for himself.    I pray that this girl cherishes him, because we all know the vicious cycle:

brokenhearted girl ---> bitch to good guy----> brokenhearted guy---->asshole to good girl

 Again, I've met some amazing men in my life,  I've even loved few of them for a season, saw their good and saw their ugly ways, and for whatever reasons, our time with each other expired.  However, not one of them impressed me to the level of this young man. 

So, what I learned today, is that I've really matured, because had this been 10 years ago I would have been scheming on how to get him for myself...hell perhaps if it were last summer....I'm just playing,lol.   

But seriously, I learned that it's funny how God works, he is showing me, "Lisa the good guys are still out there, and yes, some of them may be taken, but trust, have faith and believe I have one coming for you.  This was just a preview of the amazing men that are right under your tiny little nose."   
WELL, JESUS WHERE HE AT?  I've got my head on a swivel and my flashlight on in the daylight....the treasure hunt is on!

Coming to you live and direct from the Temple of Malisea Queen where she's putting her flashlight down, and letting her Boaz find her.  I hope his name ain't Boaz tho!  oh, and can he change a tire?  Doesn't have a girlfriend or boyfriend...and is handsome like Lance Gross...okay I won't be picky.  Can he be 6'3 tho...