When I was 13, my big brother, Dre hit me with the coldest
definition of Lisa Queen ever, he was like, “you know what, you’re such a
primadonna!”
My ditzy self didn’t know
what it meant, I thought it was a compliment because Zapp & Roger says it in,
“Computer Love”
“From hot sexy mommas
To cool primadonnas...”
Well, it wasn’t until I busted out the dictionary…yes that
is what we had to do back then, we didn’t have Google or Wikipedia back then…a
dictionary, dammit!
Anyhow, so I look up the meaning of Primadonna and was
appalled and disillusioned that my brother thought so negatively of me!!! Talk about feelings being crushed I was super hurt and in my feelings. But check this out, it was good for me though because if you don’t have a big brother, you don’t
know, that HE is the FIRST man to BREAK your heart and hurt your feelings. I thank God for having him because now, most
times when men say things to me out of spite, I’m like “ you can’t tell me
nothing my brother hasn’t already told me, you punk!”
So, according to Wikipedia (ain’t nobody got time for
dictionaries now):
Primadonna: From
its original usage in opera, the term "prima donna" has come into
common usage in any field denoting someone who behaves in a demanding, often
temperamental fashion, revealing an inflated view of themselves, their talent,
and their importance. Due to this association, the contemporary meaning of the
word has taken on this negative connotation of a vain,
undisciplined, egotistical,
obnoxious or temperamental person who finds it difficult to work under
direction or as part of a team but whose contributions are essential to the
success of a team.
I’m clutching my pearls!!! What?
Me? No, no, no. Okay, lets read this again.
Inflated views of themselves and their importance…I mean
damn, if I don’t think I’m the bomb, who else will? I’m the bomb baby! You don’t know, you better ask somebody, quick!!!
Well actually, the name is LisaQueen! But yes Cookie, YESSS
Behaves in a demanding often
temperamental fashion…. If I have high expectations and demands of myself, more than likely I expect that you're going to be somewhat on my level, meaning, you have a high esteem of your own damn self. Additionally, I typically don't sugar coat anything and talk in a curt and matter-of-fact tone. I'm not demanding, I just don't always have time to pull the sugar out when I ask you to do something.
Egotistical…. in my Beyonce voice, “I
got a big egooooooo” But I blame my ego on hip hop. Hey, look at every good hip hop star, they all have big egos, so over the years of listening to hip hop, I manifested those egos. lol (totally not taking the blame for my own actions, lol)
Finds it difficult to work under
direction…. in my Rick Ross voice, “Bitch, because I’m a boss!” I don’t follow any directions…and I break all
the rules! Aaaahhhhaaaa
Okay, moving along, moving along....
So, in a recent argument with a former
love, he blurted out, “you know your problem, Lisa, you don’t know the rules of
engagement!”
DeJaVu, because it was 10 years prior
that in a similar argument with a former beau, he said, “Lisa, your problem is
you don’t know the rules of engagement.”
Okay, the first time it was said to me, I really didn’t
take heed to what he was saying because I thought he was just being a Lisa
hater.
But now, 10 years later, I hear
the same thing from someone else, okay, perhaps I need to re-evaluate this,
because you know, life is all about self-improvement. Don't let my "blog persona" fool you, I am truly humble, down to earth and certainly open-minded enough to take into consideration what people say/think about me. Plus it's part of the multilayer process of finding out why I'm single...I'm about to break all that down for you right quick, but in short, it's because I'm hard-headed and stubborn.
First of all, I honestly don’t know
anything about Rules of Engagement except that it was a movie starring, my
nigga Samuel L Jackson—that I didn’t watch.
Secondly, I know that Rules of Engagement refers to some military
action—according to Wikipedia. So with
that said, in my Miss Sophia voice, “Hell nah” I don’t know about Rules of
Engagement, so how can I follow rules I know nothing about.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I have common
sense, I know what these men are referring to when they tell me I don’t know
how to follow rules of engagement.
Meaning that I totally entertain, or in this case, "engage" other men when dealing with other men. Yet, because I'm a primadonna, the rules of engagement clearly don’t apply to me!
Let me say this though, I’m not disrespectful
with mine, but I have been known to “entertain” some harmless flirting while in
relationships or “situationships” with other men. HOWEVER let the record reflect, I entertain other men when I feel as though I
am not center stage in a man’s life. If
you’re not giving me attention, the love, the care, the support, the affection I "demand", then you know how the story goes…what one man won’t
do, the next man will. For example, if a man is
sending me drinks across the bar and I drink that drink…well shit, what you
want me to do, send it back even though you haven’t bought me a drink and technically you're not my man? I guess I broke that rule.
If a man invites me to thanksgiving
dinner knowing I have no family here in Maryland, yet you haven’t invited me
ANYWHERE for thanksgiving…uh, yes, I’m taking him up on the invite to meet his
momma, clearly you don’t think I’m worthy of meeting your mom. So, yes, I do find it difficult to work under
certain “directions” of rules of engagement…nigga!
I sometimes feel that because I’m so
sassy, direct, and “abrasive” (Fred), that the men in my life try to “control”
me by placing certain expectations and parameters on me before we’ve even set
the stage to what we’re doing. I might have over thought that one, because after all, I do have an inflated view of myself.
My whatever face
My point is, if we’re
not together in a relationship and we’re just “talking” then you can not expect
me to follow any type of “rules” or expectations that I don’t know you’ve placed on
me.
Granted, I should just "know". Meaning, that once I start "talking" to or "dating" a man, I "should" cut off allllllll other men in my life as a gesture of my seriousness to the man I'm dating. Sorry bruh, ain't happening. Now, when I was young, dumb and gullible at 25 years old yes, I did that, but I've been played one too many times by men who themselves were breaking the rules of engagement!
Granted, I should just "know". Meaning, that once I start "talking" to or "dating" a man, I "should" cut off allllllll other men in my life as a gesture of my seriousness to the man I'm dating. Sorry bruh, ain't happening. Now, when I was young, dumb and gullible at 25 years old yes, I did that, but I've been played one too many times by men who themselves were breaking the rules of engagement!
Now, this could be the primadonna in me
who has the inflated view of myself (can you tell I HATE that definition), but men love a certain freedom and feel as
though until their situation is on lock, they can be fluid in their approach to
women and relationships. Well I think the same way, therefore the glitch in the Matrix is that men don't want women doing what they do. Sorry to tell you baby boo boo until you claim me, put a ring on my finger,
lock me down, put your foot on my neck…then I’m gonna do me. No apologies, but sorry, deal with it. I am who I am…just ask my brother. The Rules of Engagement, yeah baby I break bad on
those!
Coming to you live and direct from the
temple of Malisea Queen, where she's listening to Computer Love, breaking rules by texting three different men telling them "Good Morning Handsome" and telling you to forget Oreos eat Lisa Queen cookies, I'm Bad!!
This blog is dedicated to my two favorite people, DeAndre Mallory and Cookie Lyon! Dammit, Dre, I'm NOT a Prima Donna....well, maybe, just a little.
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