So, we left off when I was going through my first
MAJOR break up and at the time, "Share My World" was rocking. Let me say, it’s not that I didn't totally
give "Share My World" it’s fair share, because certainly, someone, such as
myself, who is VERY egotistical at times, LOVED, the single, “I Can Love You Better”.
Hello!!! Any woman who has been in a relationship and
KNOWS ain’t no other woman ever loved her man like she does, can attest that this song
right here was an anthem.
Boy, I can
love you better!
Them hoes before me
didn’t love you like I do and IF you try to leave me, ain’t no other woman
gonna:
Cook for you
Wash your clothes for you
Deal with your out of the blue attitudes and mood swings
Put up with your smart ass sister/condescending brother
Overbearing mother
Ghetto ass friends
Your in between jobs having ass
And lastly, make love
to you like I do!
I Love you THE BEST! It doesn’t GET ANY BETTER than my love!!!
Tell em’ Lil Kim:
"Mary Blige be my witness
Under pressure, I lie for ya, die for ya, Luger by my side for you,
RIGHT HAND HIGH FOR YA!"
In my mind, that was Mary J’s way of telling KC from
Jodeci, “Boyyyy, you done messed up now, I told you I’m the one!” And look….he wishes he had MJB, and she
didn’t need his ass! Aren’t we glad THAT
relationship really didn’t happen!
Ladies, it's a glorious feeling of when you once cried endlessly over a man, asking God, WHY LORD WHY??? And yet, you grow into a beautiful, successful Queen and he turns into...
You see why I love me some MJB, she showed me that despite the heartache, YOU WILL BE OKAY AND YOU WILL GROW.
Ladies, take a sip of your drink one time for all the men of your past who are now raggedy, dried up turds and you're the Queen you are today who has elevated above their bullshit!!! Let's toast to them ASSHOLES WHO MADE YOU CRY and made you question, God why?
Why?
Because you wasn't suppose to be with him, that's why!
However,
for me, at the time, I didn't know that. Despite my middle name and despite my
ego, I suck at dealing with love, rejection, and heartache and healing.
Therefore, I was still wallowing in the fact that I was once again single!
My boyfriend, who I left college for, has now broken up with me, and moved down
south, I was back in Spokane, Washington not knowing what to do with my
life. Crying to "Don't Go" on the "My Life"
album.
PAUSE!!
Can
we just talk about how HARD IN THE PAINT the song "Don't Go" really
goes? Matter of fact, stop reading, go to your music library, pull up the
"My Life" album, press play, and turn your volume all the way up. First of
all, the pure genius to flip the Guy classic, "Good Bye Love" makes
me pass out! Matter of fact, go into your music catalog and listen to,
"Good Bye Love" for nostalgia sake. Doesn't it hit you right
there, all up in your heart and chest cavity where your soul lives!!! YAASSSSSS
Anyways, "Don't Go" on the "My Life" album was and remains my "go to" song whenever a man leaves me or breaks up with me. So, because of that, I was unable to really listen to "Share My World" because I was going through heartache listening to the "My Life" album...still.
But the good thing about heartache is that it makes you focus on you and what you want. So, I picked myself up, enrolled into Eastern Washington University and was FOCUSED!!! Well, I can't take all the credit for picking myself up, my step mom Tessie one day came into my room where I had all the lights out, I was buried under the covers with some sad ass music playing and she said, "you're not just going to lay here and be depressed...you're better than this. GET UP!!!" I love you, Tessie for not allowing me to wallow in my misery. I love you.
Then my best friend, MJB came through like she always does and dropped one of my favorite albums...
OMG,
this album to me was a breath of fresh air when I was suffocating. It was
the inhaler to my asthmatic soul!!! It was mature, it was sexy, it was
refreshing. Especially the single, "All That I Can Say” Sonically,
the sound of that song alone is like sunshine peeking through your window on a
bright early morning after a dark, nasty and scary storm the night
before. It was telling me that despite what happened before, you could
still rise and shine again.
The
entire album was what I needed and like the best friend that Mary was to me,
she delivered! I listened to that album as I cried in the library
stressing writing papers before deadline. I listened to that album as I
rode the bus from campus to my job downtown Spokane wishing I lived in New York
and was talking to Mary, listening to her words of advice. I listened to
that album when I had relapse moments when I was trying to detox from my ex and
I would call him and try to run down memory lane to see if he still loved me
and if there was a chance for "us". I listened to that album
when my favorite cousin was going through a MESSY divorce and she couldn't stop
crying over a no good husband and ironically, she was going through what MJB
was singing about in "Your Child". MJB was there for ALL OF
US!
That
album also provided me with the best love song that I think Mary has ever sang,
"I'm in Love." I dream of the day MJB will sing that song at my
wedding as I commit my love to the man who will finally capture my total
heart. To me, it is a very beautiful love song. Most will disagree,
and that's okay, we all have our opinions, but that song is ETCHED in my
heart.
Finally,
I graduated from college; I packed up my things, moved out of my parent’s house
and moved back to Seattle.
Okay, let me pause again so I give a chronological reference right quick:
What's the 411--I was in Spokane
My Life-- I was in Spokane, Yakima, Seattle, Maryland and Spokane...all over lol
Share My world--Seattle --> Maryland-->Spokane
Mary-->Spokane -->Seattle
Sometimes I can't keep up with my own life...where is Tamar at when I need her to tell me
NEXT: Mary and Me...in Seattle...with No More Drama
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