Job Chronicles: Love for the hood

Not sure if you all have been keeping track, but here is a look back at all of the jobs I’ve had, because I’m sure most of you are behind, and to be real, it helps me out mentally to see all the jobs.

1.     East Central Community Center

2.     Dakota Direct

3.     East Central Community Center

4.     Larry’s

5.     Yakima Substance Abuse Coalition

6.     Yakima Dept of Corrections

7.     The Bon Marche—Yakima

8.     Yakima Herald

9.     Bob Marche—Seattle

10. ESPN Fantasy Football

11. Future Stars

12. Group Health

13. Bon Marche—Spokane

14. Nordstrom

15. Sam Goody

16. EWU Radio Station

17. The Gap

18. EWU Admissions

19. WEA (Warner Bros)

20. DoubleTree

21. Northwest Suites

22. Publicist (unofficial work)

23. Watermark Credit Union

24. Welfare and Pension

Damn, I had already worked 24 jobs and I was just in my twenties.  Looking at these jobs, I can tell you right now, I was ambitious, and didn’t settle for the BS.  Hmm, it’s always good to look back, but we must keep going with the chronicles.

Sales Inc.  What is Sales Inc.?  Well, Sales Inc. was a leasing and marketing company that hired consultants (me), provide "special sales & marketing" training to provide pumped up marketing strategies to help apartment communities with 50% and higher vacancy and fill them with qualified residents.  This meant assessing the properties, the area competition (other apartment communities), create specialized marketing materials (bootleg fliers), and work with onsite sales staff to ensure proper sales tactics were in place to turn walk ins, into future residents.   Therefore, I would travel the country; receive a salary, a bonus on sales, a per diem, stay 45-60 days in a furnished corporate apartment, and rental car in each city.  Sounds great right?  Hell, I can tell you I was sold.  I get to travel the country on the company dime, get a per diem, a rental car and technically all I was doing was acting as an overpaid leasing consultant.  Where do I sign up?  I got this shit in the bag. 

Let me tell you, this job was BULLSHIT, but one of the best experiences ever—wouldn’t trade it for the world. 

First of all the company was based in Georgia.  So, my interview was a video interview, before the web cam and skype days, and only places like Kinkos had special video conferencing rooms that you can use.  So, I nailed the video interview and then they flew me, all expenses paid, to Atlanta for a face-to-face interview, and if they hired me, then a training would follow as well.   So, long story short, I was flown to ATL, they loved me, I was hired on the spot and went directly into training.  I was in ATL for 4 days.  After training, they sent me back home for two days before being shipped off to Indianapolis Indiana.

Raise of hands of anyone who has ever been to Indiana?  Yeah well, this was only my second time going.  Now in training, they were showing us examples of nice, prestine, almost new apartment building that needed help filling up.

Look at this, Exhibit A:

I showed up to my “property” this is what I walked into:

Total difference, right!  Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with the second property, hell you might live in something like that, my problem was don't pull the ol bait and switch on me thinking I was about to be at a nicer property than expected.  

But you know me, I put on my smiling face and got excited about the possibilities.  Ohhhhh and did I forget to mention, their idea of a “corporate apartment” was a furnished apartment in one of the units on the properties you’re trying to sell.  What? Come again?  So I also have to live here for 60 days?  Yes, how else can you effectively sell the property to potential residents? 

First off, this was a "gated community".  Gates didn’t work.  Okay fine.

Second, there were security cameras on every building and in every hallway.  In my mind, awww shit, there must be drama that goes down, but to the client, I tell them it is to give them an added peace of mind. 
Third, I saw a satellite dish on EVERY APARTMENT….you know what that means…MEXICANS!  Don’t act like that is stereotypical. You know that in any major city Mexicans need to have a satellite dish to pick up their channels other than Telemundo.  World Cup soccer is big ratings! Don’t trip!

Lastly, I WAS NOT TOLD THESE WOULD BE SECTION 8 APARTMENTS.  Again, I don't have an issue with Section 8, hell, I've stayed in some VERY nice section 8 homes in my lifetime, hell, I live in a section 8 building now, however, don't say you want market rate renters to fill the apartments, and them shits really look like some section 8 type living.  If someone can afford market rate, they're going to go to a nicer, safer area, right?  RIGHT! 

So, it didn’t take long for me to figure out I was in the hood without knowing anything about Indiana.  Before long, I made a couple of acquaintances to show me the city of Indianapolis, yes, a few men who were trying to get to know me while I was in the leasing office--you know, residents who lived there, mail men, UPS delivery men, typical man traffic, I loved it, I was the "new cute girl".  

Anyways, you know, I like hood ish, so when dudes offer to take me to the local “hot spot” I was game.  Do you know, the local hot spot was the parking lot of a skating rink?  I swear, I was in the scene from the movie ATL, before ATL even came out, but with Mid West Hennessey and Crown Royal drinking fools.  Okay, I can adapt, but trust it was not my idea of seeing Indiana.

Nevertheless, I did what I came to do and was selling apartments and getting acclimated with the area.  Then, out of no where, I am in the office chillin, and it's lunch time, but it is kind of windy outside.  The office manager says:

"There is a twister coming"

Me: You mean a tornado?  So what are we suppose to do, is there a dungeon we need to evacuate to, or what? like is this serious?

Manager:  well it's about 10 miles away, it may die before getting any close.

Me: Well, if that's the case, I'm gonna go to Wendy's and get some lunch because I haven't ate.

See, no one told me the gravity of a tornado, and she certainly did not say "Lisa, you should really stay inside, Tornados do however move quickly."  No this broad wanted me to get swept to the land of Oz like Dorthy or something.

So, I take my happy greedy ass to Wendys', only to see the scariest thing I've ever seen:

My ass had a frosty in one hand, and a Jr. Bacon cheeseburger in the other, standing in the parking lot crying because I didn't know what to do.  People were running back into the Wendy's, but the wind was too forceful, I couldn't run back to the restuarant, so I got in my car.  YES, my dumb, not knowing what to do butt, got in my car. 

The wind blew my car door back, I had to use all of my little 100lb strength to pull the door back.  I was crying and shaking so hard, but I found Hulk Hogan strength to close that door.  So, I get the door closed.  I get down in my seat with my eyes closed.  For 5 minutes I cried and prayed, and then all of a sudden, I hear cars.  Cars and people like nothing had ever happened, people in the drive thru like a damn tornado did not just sweep through the Wendy's.  So, after I sat back up in my seat, looking around, I start my car, drove back to the office looking like:

They said, Welcome to Indiana!

Up next: Sales Inc sends me to the Home of Pimps & Hoes and The Best BBQ ever...Memphis